28. Time to do what I want

So, maybe this makes me a weirdo...but I genuinely like hanging out with my parents (and the dog). My parents appreciate my somewhat strange sense of humour (thanks, Dad!) and have endless patience with my OCD ridiculousness. It is usually fun to go shopping with them or take the dog for a walk. Heck, even laying on the couch watching TV with them can be a hoot and a half. Plus, I sometimes have the most amazingly entertaining/frustrating conversations with my Dad that challenge my brain to think outside the box. That is a particularly exciting aspect of things when you consider I spend most of my time with 7 year olds...not too much critical thinking needed there! If I had a significant other, I probably wouldn't spend as much time hanging out with my parents as I do and that would be ten kinds of sad. And thus! Reason 28 being single is amazing is that I get to do whatever I want with my time - even if that means hanging out with my parents is my activity of choice!

Sidebar: Build it...

I was lamenting my current situation as lonely singleton in a world of couples today after school and some colleagues and I got to talking about solutions. The delightful ladies I was chatting with pointed out that another colleague of ours was single for a long time but then built a house, got a girlfriend, and has a baby on the way in just under a year. One of these ladies also pointed out that she was engaged, built a house, got married, and got a dog in just under a year. It seems that the catalyst here is the house building. Taking this revelation into consideration, it was decided that I should build a house and be sure to design some kind of extravagant man cave in the basement to lure the gentlemen callers into my life. A sort of "build it and they will come" philosophy. Now if only I wanted to build a house here.....

27. Bed Hog

When I stay at my parents' house, the dog usually sleeps on my bed. As much as I love that little fur bag, I sleep fitfully when my flipping and flopping is restricted by 22lbs of fur covered paper weight at the end of the bed. Can you imagine how little I would sleep if I had to share with a human-sized bed hog? The horror. I quite enjoy being able to kick and flail, spread out like a starfish, or wrap myself up in blankets like a 400-thread count burrito. Reason number 27 means the only bed hog I need to worry about is the dog....and he usually ditches out after the 6th or 7th time I've thrashed him off the bed.

A sleazy mustache retraction (sort of)

So. My wonderful father brought it to my attention this evening that HE has a mustache and that he was shocked to finally discover the truth that I have hated it all these years. Let me say this Dad(s), mustaches on a man of a certain age look distinguished. And besides, Dad has had a beard for practically his whole life. I'm 95% sure he came out of the womb with some kind of upper lip adornment. He has not grown his mustache for sport or EVER scultped into some kind of facial homage to Hulk Hogan or one of those creepy circus guys who carries around the dumbells. As such, I apologize for defaming my father's legitimate and most dignified moustache. (Even the spelling of moustache gives it an air of superiority, non?)

26. Leftovers

It is a pretty common occurence at my parents' house for one of the two parties to be enquiring as to the whearabouts of last night's leftovers. Thankfully, I am never hunting for leftovers because they are always right where I left them - in the fridge. Cooking for one usually doesn't result in leftovers, but when it does....those babies are ALLLLLL mine!!

25.The man cold

I've been feeling a bit under the weather as of late. You know how it goes in report card season....never-ending dull headache, permanent tiredness, annoying sore throat, general malaise. I suppose that's what you get for choosing to work with tiny walking petri dishes with arms. Anyway. Reason 25 I'm thrilled to be single is that I don't have to cope with the man cold. Considering the manly, burly, beefy nature of the male of the species, it's like the freaking apocalypse when they get a cold. That Nyquil commercial where the guy is laying in bed asking his wife to call his mom is funny because it's true. Maybe it's because men have never had to shoot a watermelon-sized human out of their nether regions (not that I have either, but the notion is in my genetics) that they can't handle a fever and some sniffles.

Happy Sleazy Mustache Month!!

I hate Movember. Don't get me wrong; I'm all for prostate cancer awareness and support..but really? Men worldwide having disgusting and creepy mustaches is supposed to remind me to encourage the men in my life to have their prostates checked regularly??? WHY? And what is up with guys justifying gross facial hair in anyway they can think of? "It's my finals beard." "If I shave, my favourite sports team will lose!" "It's for cancer!" (Insert derisive facial expression/throat noise here.)
Thankfully, as a single lady, I do not need to duck my head in shame when out in public with my hobo-esque significant other. I do not need to pick mustache hair off my lip after a kiss. I also do not need to wake up every morning beside a yeti. I really dodged a bullet with this being single thing. WHEW.