A sleazy mustache retraction (sort of)

So. My wonderful father brought it to my attention this evening that HE has a mustache and that he was shocked to finally discover the truth that I have hated it all these years. Let me say this Dad(s), mustaches on a man of a certain age look distinguished. And besides, Dad has had a beard for practically his whole life. I'm 95% sure he came out of the womb with some kind of upper lip adornment. He has not grown his mustache for sport or EVER scultped into some kind of facial homage to Hulk Hogan or one of those creepy circus guys who carries around the dumbells. As such, I apologize for defaming my father's legitimate and most dignified moustache. (Even the spelling of moustache gives it an air of superiority, non?)