14. No No Drama

Last night (and well into this morning) there was a raging party across the lane. Apart from the fact that this party solidified my dislike of beer pong, drunken idiots, and ditzy cackling girls, it also reminded me why it is delightful to not have a drunken boyfriend. Around 3am, some hooligan was yelling and pushing his girlfriend around and then lost his mind when some other party-goers came to her defense. He went on to scream for about 45 minutes about how this girl was a harlot (my word, not his) and was performing favours for everyone at the party and threatened to take on anyone and everyone who was taking advantage of her harlotry (which, as it turns out, was no one). At about 4am, his yelling screaming temper tantrum ended and he melted into a sobbing mess laying outside my window bemoaning the fact that everyone hates him and his girlfriend will probably never speak to him again. (Seriously, dude? You thought she would come running back to you after you ran your mouth all over town about how trashy and promiscuous she was?) Now that I have had about 18 hours to nap and get over my rage/annoyance over the whole debaucle, I've come to decide that today is a great day to be single. No one sullying my good name, no one shoving me in the alley, no one sobbing on the ground in a dark parking lot in a hysterical fit of regret. Reason number 14 to be single comes from the infinite wisdom of the BEP's classic My Humps: "You don't want no drama
No no drama no no no no drama"